I really do love my dad. I always talk about how mean he is and how I hate him, but that’s not true. I just hate his personality when he’s drunk, which is a completely different story. Otherwise, he has been really nice and considerate to me lately. He told me that his life has changed since I got this disease, and he says he wishes he could have it instead of me. I cried when he said that.
When I think about what he’s done for me, I honestly can’t believe it. He sold all of his land in Palestine so him and my mother could move to Canada so we could have a good life. So I could grow up in a country with freedom. So I could go to sleep without hearing bombs and gunshots every night. So I could go to university. So I could succeed in life. My mom and dad literally threw everything that they had away just so they could raise my siblings and I. Their homes, their family, their friends, everything.
In a way I wish they didn’t, I wish we could have stayed in the middle east. My dad always says “if it wasn’t for you, I would not waste one split of a second here in Canada. I would be with my mother and siblings in Palestine.” My mom hasn’t seen anyone in her family for around 10 years, maybe more. She wants to go to Israel to visit her mother before she dies, but I already know that’s not happening.
I just want to make them proud and happy because they abandoned their lives to have my siblings and myself. I don’t want them to regret it and feel like they made a mistake. I feel so sorry for my mom. Her biggest dream was to go to university. She never even got to finish high school because she moved here. She went to night school to get her diploma, but that’s not the same. The only jobs she ever gets are housekeepers in senior homes, or other cleaning jobs. Right now she has 3: one is cleaning a methadone clinic, one is cleaning a hairstyling school, and one is at a seniors home. I wish she could go to university instead of me. She always tells me how lucky I am to be able to go. She wants to study journalism, and become a writer. She can’t because she has to pay for 4 kids to go to university. She never buys herself clothes or anything, it’s always about us. I just wish my mom could have a better life..
Anyways, the main point of this post was to say that I love my parents.